Power

Thoughts from the week

1.  "I am one with the force, the force is within me." That was the mantra that Chirrut, from Rogue One: A Star Wars Story repeated. It reminded me of Transcendental Meditation and the power of mantras. I've used the word "Strong" before in races and it helped. Chirrut's mantra reminds me of God and could tap into a whole new level. It's not just me being strong, but using the power of someone greater than me.


2.  "Say Yes" - Tara Brach. In her book Radical Acceptance, she encourages people to say yes to emotions and invite them into our conscious. Once we're fully aware of them, we can do something. It's like the say, "Mold grows in the dark." By bringing emotions into the light and accepting them, one can use their motivating power. Anxiety can motivate us to be cautious. Sadness motivates us to remember and engage with those we love. Anger motivates us to action. We can't stop emotions and avoiding them just tends to make them stronger.


3.   Derek Sivers believes that "Busy" = Out of Control. He has a point. When I'm busy, it's usually a result of poor time management, failure to set priorities, or an inability to say no. If we're struggling with procrastination, Tim Ferriss suggests we prioritize one thing to accomplish, set aside 2-3 hr and get it done. Afterwards other tasks become easier or can be accomplished when they have a higher priority. I would add that if a task takes more than 3 hours to complete then break it down into subtasks or set aside 30 minutes and focus on time goals verses outcome goals. Time goals have defined beginnings and endings which are not as overwhelming. 

4.   Bruce Lee used Wing Chun and his fascia to defeat opponents, not brute force. The book Natural Born Heroes by Christopher McDougall explores various cultures to master their secrets of strength and endurance. Bruce was not a bodybuilder, but his one inch punch could send a person across the room. It was made possible by his lightening quick movements and elasticity of his muscle connecting fascia. Balance, coordination, and timing were developed to be as efficient as possible.  It reminded me of elite runners who seem to glide across the surface with minimal effort. They're not stronger than the average runner, but they're more in tune with their body and how to maximize forward progress. It's not just being light and running a lot of miles, there's technique.

Choices

Three things that made me think this week

1.  "Go first." Quote by Gabby Reece, professional volleyball player. Her motto is to always go first. She tries to initiate kindness by saying "Hi" to the people she encounters during the day. She's found that it brightens her mood and adds a smile to the other person's face. Taking initiative also relieves the pressure on others to speak, allowing for more open dialogue. Her quote made me think about engaging quicker with my wife. I could be the first to apologize or see how she's feeling.

2.  Garden of Eden. Tara Brach discussed guilt and feeling inadequate in her book Radical Acceptance. She mentioned how some people feel pressure to redeem themselves in the eyes of God for original sin. The pressure leads to feelings of inadequacy and a constant need to prove themselves worthy. I never thought of it that way, but I can see how dangerous that could be. I prefer to view original sin and our removal from the garden of Eden as God's way of telling us to trust him. We do not have to be all knowing, just accept him and experience his love.

3.  "Trying is the first step towards failure." Quote by Homer Simpson. This quote makes me laugh every time I think about it. Trying IS the first step towards failure, but it is ALSO the first step towards achievement. Do I want to stay comfortable and not risk any bruises to my ego? Or, do I want to experience life and try new things. It's a risk, but only in how one views failure. Do we chose to view failure as final or a learning experience.

The Boss

Here are two quotes I heard this week.

1.  "Do not ascribe to malice what can be explained by ignorance or exhaustion." - Krista Tippett


All too often we make the Fundamental attribution error and assume people are being intentionally malicious or are "bad" people when in reality they are influenced by other factors. They may be tired. They may have more or less information on a subject. They may be in a hurry. They may be shaped by the situation they are in, such as Zimbardo's Stanford prison experiment or Abu Ghraib (Great interview with Tim Ferriss). Or they may have an unintentional habit they haven't resolved.

People are not good or bad, we're products of our environment and present moment state. Bruce Springsteen's father was very erratic and extremely tough on him during his childhood. He learned to accept his father by reminding himself "My dad is just not normal." Later in life his father was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and everything made sense. But why do we have to wait for things to make sense. Everyone is flawed.


2.  "The superheroes you have in your mind (idols, icons, titans, billionaires, etc.) are nearly all walking flaws who've maximized 1 or 2 strengths." - Tim Ferris


We do not have to be perfect to be successful. Steve Jobs was very successful despite his flaws. P&G invests in it's strengths and sells off divisions that are not producing results. Artists who learn to outsource management of their art and focus more on being creative will be more successful.

It's a particularly harmful strategy that's reinforced in women. Reshma Saujani discusses how parents should focus more on teaching girls bravery than perfection. It's also the subject of the HBO series Big Little Lies. The women are trying to have it all and be perfect and it's causing then a lot of unnecessary consequences. Men should heed the same advice. Don't wait until your flaws are fixed. Accept yourself and live out your dreams by utilizing your strengths.

Forget Feelings

Inspired by the book F-Feelings by Michael Bennett, MD and the movie Trolls

Forget Feelings

Thoughts and feelings are random events that we cannot control. Stop trying to get rid of them. Focus on behaviors within your control, otherwise you will feel like a failure.

  

Forget Happiness

Acting happy is a lot easier than forcing yourself to feel happy. Ask yourself, “What would a happy person do?”

Forget Worries

If you can’t solve a problem in 30 minutes, move on and try again tomorrow. Don’t do the same thing over and over expecting different results.

Forget Fairness

Fairness doesn’t come until the afterlife. No matter how careful we are, we are never 100% safe. Getting what you deserve is a lucky event, not a right.

Forget Expectations

Being attached to things only leads to suffering. Work with what you have.

Forget Bravery

The hero and the bystander feel the same thing. It’s just a matter of what you do with the fear. What would a confident person do?

Forget Solutions

There are only compromises. Try something and move on. Think, Decide, Do. Stop waiting.