"Just Try Harder"

Trying harder is not a plan. When counseling clients about nutrition I often hear, "I'm going to watch what I eat." When discussing behavior change people often say, "I'm not going to do that anymore." When discussing race strategy I often hear, "I'm not going to go out so fast this time." Unfortunately wanting to do something and doing it are not the same. We have this illusion that if we just try harder things will magically be different next time.

In reality, we are all trying our best at any given moment. No one is intentionally trying to fail.  If they are it's with the hope of meeting some larger goal of feeling better.  Therefore, accept your humanity and change your strategy.

Sustained change results from having a specific plan.  One that's not based on emotion or will power, because during times of stress or exhausting, rational thinking is in short supply.  That's why people overeat or drink after work. See ego-depletion or Daniel Kahneman to learn more on the subject.  Having a specific plan eliminates the need for will power.  A specific plan makes issues black and white, thereby minimizing risk.  When a situation arises, the plan takes care of it.  No thinking or rationalizing is needed.

If you want to decrease your intake of sweets, be specific.  How often will you allow yourself to eat sweets? Once a day, three times a week, once a week, etc.  How many servings will you allow yourself to eat?  Pick a specific plan and trial it for a week.  At the end of the week, assess your findings, and adjust.

If you want to exercise more, assess past barriers and develop a plan.  How often will you workout: three times a week, five times a week, etc.  Will you workout in the morning, afternoon, or evening?  If for some reason you can't workout at that time, what is your backup plan?  How long will you workout?  If something comes up, is it possible to reduce the amount of time and increase the intensity?  If you get tired of your usual exercises, what are other exercises you could do.  What are you going to say to yourself or physically do to stay motivated? Whenever I have trouble getting out of bed to exercise, I force myself to brush my teeth then reassess the situation. Often the exhaustion goes away.  I also remind myself that I will feel better afterwards and have less stress the rest of the day.    

Life is a journey.  Think about your issue.  Decide on a specific behavior that will address the issue. Trial your strategy. Make adjustments if need be.  Now is the perfect time, with Lent, to trial a new behavior.